The crud and bed time

Warning: Random Post

How is it a 24 year old woman cannot make her self go to bed on time? Seriously I am an adult and yet here I am at 11:30 p.m. still up because let's face it I have a Craigslist obsession and I self sabotage my bed time every single night. I don't know why I stay up. I am actually under the weather and miss work because I couldn't breathe without hacking this afternoon when the Hubs came home from work.

I want to blame it on the hour and a half nap I took but I doubt that is really the problem.

I want to blame it on Craigslist but that is just a tonight thing.

I want to blame it on the diapers I was washing/now drying but it isn't that either.

Anyway in other non-related topics, Happy Birthday to me I am 24 today but I feel ancient.

I feel ancient because at 24 I have already:

Adopted a dog,

Graduated from college,

Got married,

Found a job,

Had a baby,

Live in a house (not own),

Got into debt.

I know, I know poor me! How horrible that is! (I must be delirious to be complaining) All of these blessings and I complain. Really it isn't that bad but seriously? When did my life hit fast forward? I now worry about how clean my house is when my in-laws come over or genetically engineered food. It is going by fast as usual. Anyway I forgot how I was going to end this post so good night all.

Picture Post

So I am a sucker and thought I should share some of recent photos.

This of LM's first trip to a park.

I really like this photo but the Hub's said he looks way angry.

Just hanging out after bath time with my land shark.

Daddy with the land shark.

Our cute land shark.

Here I am with the Hubs at the Tulsa Symphony. We went for a super date night that included dinner at Red Rock Canyon Grill, Dessert at the Melting Pot and the Symphony!

Here is a favorite of mine, the quality is not good but I caught this while he was taking a morning nap.

This one is after Andy and Stacy's wedding.

LM's first trip to the pumpkin patch with his cousin. We dressed them in their Halloween costumes. That was the only time Elliot got to wear his.

More at the Pumpkin Patch, this shot is one of my favorites.

Remembering

Today I enjoyed the usual little moments with my Little Man. My special moment that happens everyday is when he is asleep or is falling asleep and I put him on my chest (he's so big now its like he is sitting on my leg) and I make his body hug mine as I hug him. Sometimes he lets out a little sleepy sigh, sometimes not. I can kiss his fuzzy head and smell his baby smell (not as noticeable as some babies - I wonder if it is because I don't bathe him everyday? - but I digress). And today I couldn't help but wonder if I am going to remember this?

Time is a thief, a crook, a bandit, that steals my memories and makes them fade. If this moment is captured by a picture will I remember it? If I have more children, will LM's memories blur with theirs? It breaks my heart when I think that I could forget. I try to make time everyday to have my moments with LM, he grows so fast, he changes so much. Every other week I have to adapt, to figure out a new way to help him sleep, or eat, or play.

When he is a teenager, will I remember how small and tiny he was today? I have trouble remembering almost 5 months ago how fragile he seemed but sturdy at the same time. I vividly remember the Dr. handing him to me while he was still attached to me. I remember the awe and clarity of that moment even though the whole experience is fuzy, distorted from the drugs, the exhaustion. I want to not forget. I want to remember it all the way it felt, how heavy or light he was, his smell, his squealing, his jumping, jumping, jumping, his cry, his laugh. I know some things will slip through the cracks of my mind. I just pray that my special moments, some of them at least, will remain with me and keep me going, the way they do every day now.

Growing Up

Do you ever have that "oh sh**" moment when you look around and realize "Crap I am an adult and there is no one to bail me out of this mess."? Lately I feel like I am having a constant "Oh sh**" moment, 24/7.

Don't get me wrong I like being an adult [I think]. I wanted the responsibility and such but I have this feeling like I am a kid who climbs up the tree and then realizes half way up that I have no idea how to get down.

Just thoughts I have had lately.

On another note, I think I might want to think about the direction and content of my blog.

Renter's Carpet

There is this color of carpet and style that my husband affectionately calls "renter's carpet", from the days when he used to work for a carpet store/warehouse (rhymes with balls).

I have been a renter for the last 5 years and I have lived in 5 different places (3 apartments and 2 houses). My first apartment had this hideous teal green carpet that must have been in style in the 70s or something because it appeared to be that old. Luckily my mother had a steam cleaner (something the Hubs says you aren't supposed to use on carpet). That teal carpet though still made my feet dirty after being cleaned twice and rinsed! In the first house I rented they replaced the carpet in my bedroom so at least my room was slightly more sanitary. Our first apartment together (the tiny 500 square foot one, we could hear the neighbors and I was terrified when the stairs iced aparment) had reasonably clean carpet that the management cleaned before we moved in.

Our current house though has this "renter's carpet" its brown, its sculpted (or it was at some point) and to me it is disgusting. Maybe it is because I am a mom now, but I fear for the day my child starts to crawl because it just looks gross and there is no chance of us getting it replaced by the landlord because our rent is "so cheap". Anyway, anyone have suggestions for nasty, nasty carpet? I have already checked there aren't beautiful hardwoods hiding beneath it. :(

The Little Man's First Movie

This is what the Hubs and Little Man do while I am at work...

Note: My baby is only 4 months old, this is a work of fiction!

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Isn't he a cute placeholder?
I am posting because I have something to post later but I need to remind myself.
Plus who doesn't love antici-pation!